While we are beyond grateful that we have a happy, healthy, smart 20 month old son, we find ourselves struggling to accept the challenges he will face as he grows older. Our son was born with a port-wine stain birthmark that covers the majority of his left arm and hand.
We've been incredibly lucky that the increased blood vessels have not had any impact on his growth or development so far. Unlike other birthmarks in children, his will not fade or disappear and could potentially grow or change as he ages. It could affect the way he grows and the way he is able to use his hand. We monitor this closely with his pediatrician, a dermatologist and a neurologist. What we fear most at this point are the social struggles he faces in the years to come.
When he was younger, we got so many questions from everyone from family and friends to healthcare providers to complete strangers. "He has a rash! Did he eat something strange?" "What's wrong with his arm?" "Oh, he has a strawberry mark too? The doctors say that will go go away". We definitely struggled with how to respond. I became defensive and angry. My husband was sad. We worked hard to overcome these reactions. We knew that Kyran would learn to be affected the same way we were affected.
As he's grown older, the comments seem to be few and far between and most days we forget he has it. He gets the occasional question or comment from kids at parties or playgrounds.
But today, for the first time ever, he noticed he was different. He reached down, grabbed his arm, and told daddy he had a very big boo boo! As parents, it breaks our hearts. We don't ever want him to think he is different or somehow lesser of a person. Tonight, with a tear in my eye, I will hug him as hard as I can and tell him how much I love him.
I don't think our pre-children selves ever realized how much love we would have for our child and how we would do anything to see him happy.
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